Ahoy there Commander!
Me again! My, it seems a while since we swapped sarcastic remarks in these parts! Hope you’ve been keeping well and working hard as always. Now, as (hopefully, depending on the outcome of Results Day tomorrow) by Christmas I’ll be a fully fledged, debt-ridden, flea-ridden student, whether I’ll be able to afford the tour is uncertain. So, I ask you…Do you need an extra roadie? Like, just someone to carry your plectrums, cos I’m good at carrying plectrums. I won’t be any bother, just give me three pork pies a day, with an extra scotch egg for Sundays, and a bed in the luggage hold of the bus, and I will repay you with a month of hard-working hard labour. I’ll even lug Suggs’ fags around as well! What do you think???
All the best for now Chris
Owen The Nutter

Dear Owen
We can’t afford you. Best of luck,I hope you did well..
CB